USPS: How to Pack Your Hippo

Posted on July 25, 2005

The United States Postal Service website has a webpage providing information for people who are moving. The webpage includes packing instructions for various household items like appliances, china, furniture, paintings and television sets. It also has the following curious instructions for packing hippos.

You'll need:

1,000-gallon tank per hippo

1,000 gallons of water

Crane

1-pound sedative

Soothing hippo music

2 Aspirin (for you)

How to pack:
1. Fill your tank with 800 gallons of water. Start yesterday. Remember, a medium-sized hippo takes up at least 200 gallons. (Just out of curiosity, why do you have a hippo, anyway?)
2. Apply sedative. Take two Aspirin.
3. Hold it, hold it - put the hippo in the tank, first. Start with soothing hippo music, followed by a large winch and crane.
4. Now go relax in a hot bath before the forklift arrives.

It sounds like the packing instructions writer got a little carried away. You should not actually try to mail a live hippo.

The hippo packing page is no longer available but the Baltimore Sun saw it was there just like we did.