When Tom Cruise marries Katie Holmes this weekend, like many a devout Scientologist, he may promise to provide her with "a pan, a comb, perhaps a cat." The formal wedding of the Hollywood stars in Italy on Saturday is shaping up as not only the celebrity wedding of the year but as the most famous Scientology wedding since science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard founded the church in Los Angeles more than 50 years ago.

Unlike the mysteries of "silent birth" -- the no-words method used when Holmes delivered daughter Suri in April -- Scientologists say their weddings generally are like Christian affairs with flower girls, a ring, music and a party afterward. "A photo of a Scientology wedding usually has a bride wearing a white dress and the groom wearing a dark suit and the party behind them. It is a joyous affair," said Church of Scientology spokeswoman Karin Pouw. Pouw said what makes a Scientology wedding unique is the advice offered in the ceremony for couples to maintain and improve their relationship.

"They make a vow to each other that they won't go to sleep at night without having repaired any upset they may have had during the day," Pouw said. Twice-divorced Cruise, Scientology's most prominent advocate, and Holmes, 27, announced their engagement in June 2005 after a whirlwind courtship. It is the first marriage for Holmes, who was raised a Catholic. The couple are expected to choose from five versions of the wedding ceremony, ranging from the Traditional to the Double Ring. Each includes traditional vows and lasts between 20 minutes to one hour.

In the old-fashioned language that marks the Traditional version, the groom is reminded that "girls" need "clothes and food and tender happiness and frills, a pan, a comb, perhaps a cat" -- and is asked to provide them all. The bride, in turn, is told that "young men are free and may forget" their promises. In the Double Ring ceremony, the ring is a symbol of permanency and reaffirms the Scientology principles of affinity, reality and communication. While some outsiders may find the concepts of Scientology difficult to grasp, Pouw said Scientology weddings are "quite normal."

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Tom Cruise Tries To Convert Superman To Scientology

Mike Walker of The National Enquirer reports that Tom Cruise is trying to convert Superman Returns star Brandon Routh to Scientology.

Does TOM CRUISE want the "S" on Superman's chest to stand for SCIENTOLOGY? My Favorite Alien — who just tried to convert ANGELINA JOLIE — targeted new Superman hunk BRANDON ROUTH faster than a speeding bullet! Tom met Routh — who just made the cover of gay mag "Advocate" under the headline "How Gay Is Superman?" — in a back booth at Factor's Famous Deli, where the Interplanetary Lord of Galactic CruiseControl was overheard inviting him to Hollywood's Scientology Center. (Tell-tale signs Superman's gay, according to "Advocate": "His camp hands-on-hips stance"... and "Loves stripping off in phone booths.")

Well, we're just not sure about the whole "Is Superman Gay" controversy, but we will say this: Tom Cruise is on a Mission to convert as many stars to Scientology as possible. After Angie and Brad slipped through his hands, he clearly decided to try for an up and coming Hollywood star. Run, Superman, Run!

Posted on June 26, 2006
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Tom Cruise Named Most Powerful Celebrity

Forbes magazine has named Tom Cruise as the most powerful celebrity in its annual list of the 100 most powerful Hollywood players.

Couch-jumping, cradle-robbing Tom Cruise soared to the No. 1 spot in Forbes' annual Celebrity 100 Power List. The "M:i: III" star trounced last year's Forbes topper Oprah Winfrey, who fell to third place. The celeb roster, which hits newsstands today, ranks big shots based on the size of their paychecks and the amount of attention they get.

Cruise got the top billing because he commands the biggest box office and pockets the most bucks in Hollywood, earning $67 million last year from his cut of "War of the Worlds." "Love him or hate him, Tom Cruise is Hollywood's most bankable star," Forbes Celebrity 100 editor Lea Goldman told the Daily News. But don't cry for Oprah - even though she had to witness Cruise's crazed couch dance on her show. She way outearned him, pulling in $225 million.

Also hitting high notes: aging rockers. The Rolling Stones got a bang from their $172 million "A Bigger Bang" tour, hitting No. 2. Global peacemaker Bono pushed U2 to No. 4. Tiger Woods rounded out the top 5 with $90 million in pay. King of all media Howard Stern was among the royalty on the Forbes list, coming in at No. 7 thanks to his $302 million Sirius payday. His earnings were second only to Steven Spielberg, whose sale of DreamWorks helped bring him $332 million.

Pouty-mouthed Angelina Jolie's Third World-saving put her at No. 35 on the list. She's tied with her squeeze Brad Pitt's ex-wife Jennifer Aniston. Making the scene for the first time were "American Idol"'s Simon Cowell at No. 29 and Ryan Seacrest at No. 88. Forbes' biggest loser of the year was "Passion of the Christ" crusader Mel Gibson, who went from No. 3 in 2005 to nowhere this year. Also looking like she's been through three days of rain is Julia Roberts, another Forbes no-show. "She hasn't been in a movie in two years and was critically panned" on Broadway, Goldman said.

So Tom Cruise is the most powerful celeb, eh? Then why can't he get little Suri a $5 million photo deal? Because we'd really like to see a picture of the little tyke.

Posted on June 16, 2006
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Tom Cruise Causes Bomb Scare In L.A.

People magazine reports on Tom Cruise's Mission Impossible III marketing disaster:

A Mission: Impossible III marketing scheme went haywire--literally--Friday when a Los Angeles Times reader in Santa Clarita mistook his friendly neighborhood newspaper rack for a device on the verge of spontaneous combustion. In this day and age, you really can't blame the guy for being a bit concerned when he inserted his quarter, opened the lid and saw a small plastic box with a few wires poking out of it sitting on top of the papers.

He subsequently called the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department at 9:05 a.m., according to sheriff's office spokeswoman Deputy Dana Camarillo, and the Canyon Country division's arson and explosives team was dispatched to investigate, arriving on the scene about 20 minutes later. After spying the red plastic box, authorities proceeded to "render the device useless," Camarillo said. Or, to put it in more Mission: Impossible-friendly terms: They blew that sucker up!

As it turned out, that sinister-seeming object was one of approximately 4,500 digital music players placed in Times dispensers throughout the city programmed to play the Mission: Impossible theme when the rack's door was opened.

*****

Law enforcement officials received several other calls later in the day and the West Los Angeles federal police called in the sheriff's office bomb squad at one point, but by then the various departments had received word of Paramount Pictures' marketing campaign. "I think Paramount is pretty happy about it," Mark Kurtich, senior VP of operations for the Times, said, referring to the bonus publicity that inevitably accompanies an actual explosion.

And if a mere citizen had left a suspicious plastic box with wire sticking out of it in a newsrack? Why, they'd have been arrested, of course!

Posted on May 2, 2006
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Suri Cruise Makes Her Arrival

People magazine reports that Katie Holmes had her baby yesterday.

Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise "joyously welcomed the arrival of a baby girl, Suri, today," Cruise's rep said in a statement after PEOPLE first broke the news Tuesday afternoon. "The child weighed 7 pounds, 7 ounces and was 20 inches in length. Both mother and daughter are doing well." The name Suri has its origins in Hebrew meaning "princess," or in Persian meaning "red rose," the rep added.

In October, barely six months into their romance, an ecstatic Cruise and Holmes revealed that they were expectant parents. Cruise, 43, and Holmes, 27, had made no secret of their desire to start a family together: When asked by PEOPLE last June if they were planning to have children, Holmes smiled and said simply, "Yes."

Friends of the Toledo, Ohio-bred Holmes called her perfectly suited to her upcoming role. "She almost seems born for motherhood," said Oliver Hudson, actress Kate Hudson's brother and an old pal who costarred with Holmes in Dawson's Creek. "She's a nurturer. She's got mother qualities a lot of girls her age don't have." Cruise, meanwhile, is "a great dad already," according to his pal, actress Leah Remini. He has two children from his marriage to Nicole Kidman: Isabella, 13, and Connor, 11, whom Cruise and Kidman adopted as infants. Remini told PEOPLE that both kids are "so cool…You can sit and talk to them about life."

Did Katie get to scream? Did the doctors get to scream? Did Tom really eat the placenta (EWWWWW!)? We need more details. In an interesting twist of fate, Brooke Shields gave birth to a baby girl on the same day. Somehow we doubt Brooke is going to be calling Tom to arrange playdates for the tykes.

Posted on April 19, 2006
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