During a closed-door emergency hearing Wednesday, Los Angeles Superior Court Commissioner Scott Gordon suspended Spears' visitation rights until she complied with his full custody order, which includes parenting sessions and random drug tests. The decision has devastated the singer. "She's really upset," a source close to Spears tells E! Online. "She keeps saying, 'I can't believe this is happening.' It's like she just can't accept what's happened."

A second source familiar with the ongoing custody tug-of-war tells E! Online Federline was so angry when the children came back to him after their last visit with Spears two days ago he vowed to do whatever it takes to keep his ex-wife from seeing their babies again until she cleans up her act. "She just doesn't take parenting seriously," the Federline insider says. "And Kevin knows it. He keeps saying he's genuinely scared for their safety." And not even a court-ordered monitor has changed that. "He knows that even with monitored visits, no one can make Britney do what she doesn't want to do," the source adds. "She's used to telling people what to do, pushing people out of her way. She's a hard woman to control."

Federline was convinced Spears wasn't living up to her maternal responsibilities after the kids came back to his house crying and surly. "They came back to his house, and their eating schedule was off, their sleeping schedule was off, and they won't listen to him, because he knows they haven't been getting any discipline at her house," the Federline associate claims. "He has to start all over, getting them settled again, calm them down and reintroduce them to their normal schedules. And it's frustrating for him. He's been tolerating this for a long time, but he thought maybe it would get better with a monitor involved. It hasn't."

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We Can't Handle Britney's Truth

Ok, we'd seen Nick and Jessica on Newlyweds. And that worked. But in Britney and Kevin: Chaotic's first hour, Britney herself wielded the digital recorder on just about everyone but herself. Frankly, the first fifteen minutes were boring. Then it got a little more interesting as Britney filmed paparazzi trying to get shots of her and she started to ask some of her assistants personal questions. Surely now she's going to talk about her beauty routine, exercise routine or practice some dance steps? Apparently not.

Britney has an appealing sweet side to her that does come through on the show. She doesn't seem spoiled or mean. Just unbelievably silly. But we think CNN's Tucker Carlson got it right. When asked what he thought about Britney after he interviewed her, he replied that he just couldn't get past how very young she seemed. In these home movies, she acts and sounds like she's about 14 years old (there were endless shot of her filming up her own nose, or making pig faces). There were some interesting clips of her getting ready to go on stage -- she is clearly completely fearless when it comes to performing -- and a total pro. When it gets really hard to watch is when he appears and by he we mean Britney's now-husband, then crush -- the absolutely ghastly and horrifically lazy Kevin Federline -- who takes longer to get ready in the morning than the world's most famous pop idol. He's taciturn. He's grumpy most of the time. He "doesn't believe in marriage" (no doubt that's what he told poor Shar Jackson). But most surprising of all -- he's a redneck with a horrible southern accent, which is really weird considering that he was born in Fresno, California. ("Payba-a-ack's a biatch, Britnaaaaaaay" he drawled when she filmed him in the shower.) A redneck, no good, two-timing, freeloading gigolo. Our heads are starting to hurt now.

Tony, Britney's bodyguard took an instant dislike to the Foul Federline and wasn't shy about saying so on camera. The scenes from next week show the large Tony squashing K-Fed into the floor like a bug, which made us very happy.

The most striking thing about the film is Britney's naïveté and immaturity. She is the opposite of her fearless stage personality. She appears vulnerable and desperate for anyone's affection. She also seems unaware that at the time these videos were shot Foul Federline's girlfriend Shar Jackson was at home in California, pregnant with K-Fed's second child. We wanted to stop the tape and yell "Britney what are you thinking? He's a snake!" But it's far too late for some sage dating advice -- and that's what made it hard to watch. Britney's continual burping and incessant exclamations of "Ya'll I'm such a dork!" weren't easy to bear, either.

Ok, fine, it's a train wreck. We'll tune in next week -- but only to see the Foul Federline get squished by Tony.

Posted on May 18, 2005
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