Members of the Yes Men, a group of environmental and corporate ethics activists, gave a presentation at a trade conference pretending to be Halliburton executives touting large inflatable suits that provide corporate managers safety from global warming. They also distributed a phony press release through e-mail and set up a Web site, halliburtoncontracts.com, similar to the real Halliburton site, halliburton.com.

"It's basically a giant inflatable orb," said a Yes Man posing as "Fred Wolf of Halliburton" during a phone interview yesterday. "If catastrophe threatens a large population, the business manager simply enters the orb, puts it on, and it protects him or her in any climate condition, whether it involved tornadoes, hurricanes, tsunamis, ice conditions or heat conditions." The Yes Men posted photos of the products, which look like large plastic bubbles with six hands, two speakerphone-looking ears and an opening for the executive's face.

The group, which has pulled similar stunts on Dow Chemical Co. and the World Trade Organization, says it presented the phony global-warming-protection suits -- priced at $100 million each, nonetheless -- to show that corporations are more concerned about profits than taking expensive steps to reduce carbon emissions to reduce global warming. "We were targeting Halliburton because they're the most iconic example of companies profiting from global warming, climate changes and even natural disasters like in New Orleans," said a Yes Man who called himself Andy Bichlbaum.

Halliburton, the Houston oil and energy company formerly headed by Vice President Dick Cheney, has been accused of being more concerned about profiting from oil than the environmental impact of oil drilling. Halliburton denied connection to the phony release. "[T]he information is not a company press release or document. To confirm, Fred Wolf is not a Halliburton employee," a spokeswoman said in an e-mail.

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Jessica Does Washington

Jessica Simpson headed for Washington, D.C. to lobby for donations to her favorite charity, Operation Smile, which offers free plastic surgery for disadvantaged children overseas with facial deformities.

Jessica -- like actress Angelina Jolie -- knows how to dress for Washington. She looked great in a tailored black pansuit, with her hair in a loose bun and conservative makeup. She looked interested in what the speakers at the event were saying and generally made a good impression.

She was invited to come to a Republican National Committee fundraising dinner and meet President Bush, but she declined. That led to headlines that Jessica snubbed the president, but the Associated Press reports that once it became clear that the invitation was not to a state dinner but to a political fundraising event she had to decline because her charity is not political.

But when reporters started shouting questions about reports that she wouldn't go to the White House, Simpson's handlers whisked her away. Her father and manager, Joe Simpson, tried to offer some sort of explanation for what was going on. He said that when it "became obvious that it was not just a state dinner" and "more of a fundraising event," it went against the purpose of why they were there.

Joe Simpson also insisted that he and his family are "huge fans" of Bush and that "Jessica loves the heck out of him." He added that they were still trying to squeeze in a meeting with Bush.

If Jessica is really such a fan of Dubya, why didn't she just say so instead of ducking out of the press conference? We're just asking...

Posted on March 17, 2006
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Cheney's Got a Gun

It's true: Vice President Cheney shot his attorney in a hunting weekend that went horribly wrong. He shot Harry Whittington, 78, with buckshot in the face, neck and chest. He's in the ICU in "stable" condition in Corpus Christi, Texas.

Most people thought it was some kind of joke because it's almost exactly like the quail hunting scene in Wedding Crashers starring Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn, but it turned out to be true: Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot his lawyer in the face while they were hunting quail on Saturday.

Luckily for the nearly 80 year old attorney, Harry Whittington, Cheney is in such poor health that he travels with a full medical team and has instant access to an ambulance. Whittington was helicoptered to a hospital in Corpus Christi on Saturday evening, and was still in the ICU as of Sunday evening. The hospital listed his condition as "stable," which is one step down from "good." The Austin attorney reportedly was sprayed in the face, neck and chest with buckshot.

Kathryn Armstrong, the daughter of the owners of the ranch where Cheney was hunting tried to downplay the incident. She told reporters that "This is something that happens from time to time. You now, I've been peppered pretty well myself," which leads to the inevitable question: is she insane?

From left to right in the photo are a) a Texas quail that Cheney was supposed to be shooting at b) what he actually shot at and c) Cheney plotting his next hunting trip.

Posted on February 13, 2006
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50 Cent Calls President Bush a Gangsta

Rapper 50 Cent has praised President George Bush in an somewhat unusual fashion: he called him a gangsta. Virgin.net reports:

In a shock departure from a whole host of musicians and artists who have criticised the much-maligned leader, 'Fiddy' hailed Bush, although there may be just a teeny-weeny bit of irony in the star's comments.

'Fiddy,' who claims to have been shot nine times, said of Bush: "The President is incredible... a gangsta. I wanna meet George Bush, just shake his hand and tell him how much of me I see in him."

No doubt W is thrilled beyond all imagining at this exciting new political endorsement.

Posted on November 30, 2005
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Marshmallow, the National Thanksgiving Turkey

Here is a photo of President George Bush pardoning Marshmallow, the National Thanksgiving Turkey. More about our National Thanksgiving Turkey can be found here on The White House website. The website says that the name Marshmallow was voted on by the public. There was even an alternate turkey named Yam in case something terrible happened to Marshmallow. The site also has information about the turkey's retirement schedule.

A few minor modifications were made to prepare the birds for the National Thanksgiving Turkey presentation. About 30 turkeys were removed from the normal commercial production flock and are being raised separately on the Trites farm. The birds are periodically hand fed and given additional interaction with people in an effort to acclimate them.

Presidents traditionally have granted the National Thanksgiving Turkey a "pardon". For the past 15 years, the National Thanksgiving Turkeys and their alternates have been retired to Frying Pan Park in Fairfax County, Virginia. The farm is a 1930s-era replica farm operated by the Fairfax County Parks Department.

Frying Pan Park? Well at least the poor turkeys can retire safely even if the name might frighten them. Happy Thanksgiving Buzz readers!

Posted on November 24, 2005
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New Zealand's Naked Politician

Now this is a political stunt we've never seen before. A New Zealand politician took a Lady Godiva-like stroll through the streets of Auckland wearing only some pants and lots of body paint which looked like a suit. He had promised to parade naked through the streets if he lost his race if Act Party leader Rodney won his seat.

Green Party MP Keith Locke had pledged to strip off if Act Party leader Rodney Hide won the seat of his constituency. Seen as a long-shot, Mr Hide surprised pundits by winning a big majority. "I had to do it," Mr Locke said. "The Greens keep their promises". His elaborate suit included a white shirt, green tie and matching jacket.

Mr Locke said he opted for an artistic, rather than crude, nudity by leaving just his hands and face undecorated. Onlookers were reported to look more relieved than outraged at the lawmaker's paint veil. He was accompanied by Green party members as he made the brave 500m walk through the Auckland suburb of Newmarket.

We're not sure if this is a trend that we really want to see spread to America. Although, if it did, the 2008 presidential elections would certainly be more interesting.

Posted on November 10, 2005
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Bush Has Nothing in His Pockets

The Argentinian people have enquiring minds. And what they really want to know about President Bush before he visits their country this week is the answer to the burning question: what does the leader of the free world carry in his pockets? Apparently, not much.

President Bush may be burdened with the world's problems, but his pockets are pretty light. It turns out the leader of the free world doesn't have to worry about carrying all the essentials of the common man.

Bush revealed the contents of his pockets Tuesday to an Argentine newspaper reporter who was interviewing him in advance of a presidential trip to Latin America later this week. When the reporter from La Nacion asked Bush to show him what he carries, the president stood up, fished in his pockets, then dramatically pulled his hands out holding nothing but a white handkerchief that he waved playfully in the air.

"Es todo," Bush told the Spanish-speaking reporter, meaning the handkerchief was all. "No dinero, no mas. No wallet." He doesn't need any cash, since his staff takes care of buying anything he might need. He carries no cell phone, either, since he is surrounded by aides who take care of dialing his calls. And why would he need keys since every door is held open for him and his car comes with a driver trained by the Secret Service?

The Argentine reporter, who interviewed Bush at the White House with other journalists from the Latin American media, asked the president if he even had a watch. "Si, Timex," Bush said, thrusting out his wrist to show off a timepiece that had his middle initial, W, on the face. "But I'm not supposed to be endorsing products."

Timex? President Bush wears a Timex with a big W on it? Can that really be right? What kind of style image is that going to send to the Argentinian people? This is just embarrassing.

Posted on November 3, 2005
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White House Orders The Onion to Stop Using Presidential Seal

We love The Onion -- and reportedly so do a number of White House staffers. But associate counsel to President Bush, Grant M. Dixton, is not amused by the publication. He's fired off a letter to the Onion demanding that they stop using the presidential seal because it "suggests presidential support or endorsement."

[A]ssociate counsel to the president Grant M. Dixton sent a letter to the Onion on Sept. 28 stating that the seal "is not to be used in connection with commercial ventures or products in any way that suggests presidential support or endorsement." The newspaper parodies President Bush's weekly radio address on its Web site, accompanied by a picture of President Bush and the official insignia.

The Onion's lawyer, Rochelle H. Klaskin, countered the government's letter by saying, "It is inconceivable that anyone would think that, by using the seal, The Onion intends to 'convey... sponsorship or approval' by the president." Klaskin also asked that the Onion be considered for an official exception to the rule, which is allowable by law. The Onion distributes 500,000 copies a week, and three million people read the paper online, according to the Times.

Mr. Dixton is going to be a busy guy; he's going to have to sue hundreds of publications and television shows (including Saturday Night Live) if he wants to stop everyone from using the presidential seal to make fun of whoever is currently in the White House.

Posted on October 25, 2005
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War is Not Smurfy

A Belgian UN advertising campaign to illustrate the ravages of war shows the Smurf's village being bombed. Smurf homes are destroyed and Smurfette is killed. The BBC describes the attack on the Smurfs.

The 20-second clip opens with the Smurfs happily dancing and singing their theme song accompanied by birds and butterflies.

But then planes appear which drop bombs on the idyllic scene, setting fire to the blue-skinned characters' houses.

One character, Smurfette, is killed and others run for cover while a baby is left crying in the middle.

The ad finishes with the message: "Don't let war affect the lives of children."

Poor Smurfette -- she was the only female smurf as far as we can remember. It sounds like an effective ad campaign.

Posted on October 16, 2005
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The Politics of the Paranormal

With no presidential elections this year, Gallup has clearly run out of polling ideas. The latest Gallup poll shows that one in three Americans believes in ghosts.

32% of all adults say they believe that "ghosts/spirits of dead people can come back," while 48% do not, and 19% are unsure. An even larger number of Americans believe that houses can be haunted, with 37% holding that position, 46% saying no, and 16% not sure. There's an ideological twist, with 42% of liberals saying they believe in ghosts--but only 25% of conservatives and 35% of moderates saying this.

Belief in ghosts declines with age, with 45 of those 18 to 29 sticking to that, while only 22% of those 65 and over holding that view. The poll was based on interviews with 1,002 adults, with a plus or minus 3% sampling error.

Thanks for breaking the data down by political affiliation. No doubt that data will be crucial in the 2006 midterm elections.

Posted on July 12, 2005
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No Canada Day Fun For Corn Cob Bob

Corn Cob Bob, the mascot for the Canadian Renewable Fuels Association, was banned from this year's Canada Day festivities. Corn Cob Bob was originally given approval by the National Capital Commission to appear at this year's Canada Day event. Bob was given a booth and planned to hand out stickers and balloons -- but the decision was thwarted by Shell Canada, a big sponsor of this year's event. Apparently, Canada Day is not big enough for both Shell Canada and Corn Cob Bob. Shell Canada doesn't even deny kicking out Corn Cob Bob according to an Ottawa Sun news story:

As the "official fuel for Canada Day," sponsor Shell Canada filled the tanks of the Chrysler vehicles that NCC staff drove.

Shell Canada spokeswoman Benita Davis insisted the "significant amount of money" invested gave the company exclusive rights to advertise fuel at the celebration.

"We own the fuel category," said Davis. "We asked the organization to respect our exclusivity."

CBC Ottawa reports that the National Capital Commission told the Canada Renewable Fuel Association that there was a mixup and Corn Cob Bob will be welcomed back next year. In the meantime, Corn Cob Bob has a busy summer schedule -- he will be handing out balloons, temporary tattoos and teaching children about renewable fuels at 14 more events throughout the summer.

(Via Sploid)

Posted on July 6, 2005
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Angelina Jolie, Condoleeza Rice and the Refugees

Here's a twosome we'd never thought to see sharing a stage and a laugh: Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice and UNHCR Goodwill Ambassador Angelina Jolie. But here they are launching the 5th Annual World Refugee Day celebrations at the National Geographic Society in Washington, D.C. on Wednesday. Paul Rusesabagina (whose life inspired the film Hotel Rwanda) was welcomed by thunderous applause that briefly stopped the ceremony.

Jolie eloquently and passionately reminded everyone that the United States was founded by refugees. "One of America's most inspiring symbols is the Statue of Liberty," she said. "She is the Mother of Exiles with her promise of refuge to the world's tired, poor, to those huddled masses yearning to breathe free, she welcomed millions of 'new Americans' over the years."

She also reminded the audience that there are millions of refugees whose futures are still uncertain: "World Refugee Day is the day we make sure they aren't forgotten."

Later that evening, Paul Rusesabingina, Terry George and UNHCR's Craig Sanders chaired a question-and-answer panel following a special screening of Hotel Rwanda. One of the audience members asked Rusesabagina how he found his courage to save over 1,200 Rwandans during the genocide, to which the Rwandan replied: "I remained who I was and did not follow the majority. The majority is not always right. Whoever kills knows that killing is never right."

CNN's Andrea Koppel interviewed Ms. Jolie after the conference, but Angelina ended the interview abruptly when all Andrea wanted to talk about was her relationship with Brad Pitt. Andrea had to confess to Wolf Blitzer her failure to find out the nature of the couple's relationship. No Pulitzer for her, clearly.

Posted on June 18, 2005
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Christina Aguilera Music Used As Torture at Gitmo

It's been confirmed. The music of singer Christina Aguilera was really used as a torture method at Gitmo Camp at Guantanamo Bay. Time magazine obtained the official interrogation logs which lists the torture methods used to extract information from Mohammed al Qahtani, the so-called 20th hijacker.

Dripping Water or Playing Christina Aguilera Music: After the new measures are approved, the mood in al-Qahtani’s interrogation booth changes dramatically. The interrogation sessions lengthen. The quizzing now starts at midnight, and when Detainee 063 dozes off, interrogators rouse him by dripping water on his head or playing Christina Aguilera music. According to the log, his handlers at one point perform a puppet show "satirizing the detainee’s involvement with al-Qaeda."

Dripping water on the prisoner's head while playing "I'm a Genie in a Bottle"? Puppet shows? Is that really effective? And if the interrogators consider listening to the dulcet tones of Christina Aguilera to be torture, what kind of music do they consider a listening treat?

Posted on June 14, 2005
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Trust-Inducing Nasal Spray

Be very careful the next time a date offers you some nasal spray "to help with your terrible allergies," or a politician appears to be spraying the room with an "air freshener." Swiss researchers have found the secret chemical that can make other people trust you. It's called oxytocin and is secreted at various times. For example, when women have a baby they have higher oxytocin levels, presumably to make the mother bond with her child and vice versa. It's the biological basis of human trust.

University students who inhaled the hormone in a nasal spray were discovered to be far more trusting of one another -- eager, in fact, to hand over money to strangers in investment deals.

"We find that intranasal administration of oxytocin causes a substantial increase in trusting behaviour," a research team said. The team was led by Dr. Michael Kosfeld of the University of Zurich, whose findings appear in the journal Nature.

The study already has some cynical scientists musing about whether political operatives will try to crop-dust crowds with oxytocin at rallies, whereas more hopeful researchers see the hormone as a potential boon in treating people with social phobias, or rare genetic disorders that cause children to trust everyone they meet.

Some may worry about the prospect that political operators will generously spray the crowd with oxytocin at rallies of their candidates," said University of Iowa neurologist Antonio Damasio in a commentary in Nature.

Researchers also warn people not to confuse Oxytocin with Oxycontin, the popular painkiller that so many celebrities are addicted to. That's something else entirely.

Posted on June 2, 2005
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Potty Parity Comes to New York

The New York City Council unanimously passed the Potty Parity bill into law. The New York Daily News has the story on this important development. The law addresses the longstanding toilet inquality issue which has caused women so much suffering over the years. Under the new "affirmative action plan" for womens' toilets, new buildings in New York must provide two toilets for women for every one toilet installed for men.

The current law, enacted in 1984, requires a 1-to-1 ratio. But men can "zoom in and zoom out," while women end up waiting in long lines, noted Councilwoman Madeline Provenzano (D-Bronx), chairwoman of the Housing and Buildings Committee. "This is a quantum leap into the 21st century," said Councilwoman Yvette Clarke (D-Brooklyn), chief sponsor and architect of the bill.

The bill approved yesterday is a compromise version of a proposal that would have required virtually all buildings - new and old - with public rest rooms to have two facilities for women for every one designated for men. In a deal with Mayor Bloomberg, the original potty-parity bill was flushed because of complaints over its potentially huge cost to owners of bars, restaurants and theaters and to publicly owned facilities, such as stadiums.

The bill was approved 50-1 at the council meeting. "If there was ever a bill I was afraid to be on the wrong side of, it would be this bill," noted wise Councilman Erik Martin-Dilan (D-Brooklyn). Councilman Martin-Dilan's district is 60% female.

Rejoice this Memorial Day, for Potty Parity has at last been achieved. In New York, anyway.

Posted on May 27, 2005
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Pelosi Shoe Drama Has Fairytale Ending

At last, the searing drama of Democratic Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi's missing pink shoe has come to an end. And what an end it was! Freshman Representative Dave Reichert (R-Washington) dropped to one knee during a press conference, flourished an elegant pink slingback and proclaimed, "I'm proud to be here, and proud to present you with your shoe!" "That is my shoe!" Ms. Pelosi, exclaimed to laughter. "Thank you so much. ... A moment of community on Capitol Hill. ... You are such a gentleman," said Pelosi who was clearly overwhelmed by his gallantry.

But how did the ever-so-gallant Congressman Reichart recover the glass slipper pink slingback, lost when the secret service literally lifted her out of her shoes during the evacuation of the Capitol?

As he and hundreds of other lawmakers and staffers raced down the Capitol's marble steps during Wednesday's stampede to safety, a shoe, an expensive woman's pump, suddenly flew in front of him which he handily caught. "I started to look for a woman in a pink suit who might be missing a shoe," he said. But, alas, no damsel in distress was in view.

He kept the mysterious and elegant shoe close to his heart as he headed back to his office after the all-clear had been sounded. But where was the mystery woman? Later that day, his wife emailed him that she had read online that it was a powerful Democrat who had lost her footwear during the melee. Reichert replied to his wife, "I have a shoe, are you serious?'" Mr. Reichert recalled. Determined to reunite the shoe with its owner, Congressman Reichert appeared at the press conference to return the errant slingback..

Now that's what I call a happy ending. Although they never did bother to tell us who designed the shoe.

Posted on May 13, 2005
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Pelosi Shoe Update

The Washington Post doggedly pursues the story of House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi's (D-Calif.) shoe drama yesterday during the scare on Capitol Hill yesterday. The Post reports that:

Pelosi was literally lifted out of her pinkish high heels by Capitol Police in a hallway outside the House chamber. One shoe was later found; the other remains missing.

Pinkish??? Either a heel is pink or it's beige or perhaps off-white. We expected more details from the newspaper that broke the Watergate story and brought down an entire administration. It's all most disappointing. And, on another subject, who would abscond with one pinkish high heel, anyway?

Posted on May 12, 2005
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Panic in D.C. Was Just False Alarm

Everyone freaked out this morning as U.S. Senators and House Representatives were rushed out of their offices in response to an emergency situation in the Capitol. Luckily, it turned out to be just another directionally-challenged small aircraft pilot. This time, it really was a student driver. Or aviator, if you prefer. This is ridiculous. How can so many small planes get near the White House? Can't they put one of those warning beacons like they have near Area 51? You know, the ones that start an ominous loud beeping if your plane wanders into the airspace over the top-secret base in Nevada? CNN reported that the secret service pulled House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi right out of her shoes, trying to get her to safety. Of course, no one bothers to report on what kind of shoes she was lifted out of. Manolo Blahnik? Stuart Weitzman? Did she get the shoes back? Did she run her hose? This is just sloppy journalism.

Posted on May 11, 2005
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