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Jessica Simpson Livens Up the 4th of July

ABC decided to go with a sure thing last night and aired for the second time Nick and Jessica's Tour of Duty, which we somehow missed the first time around. Nick and Jess went to Germany to cheer up the troops, Jessica learned to shoot a rifle (nearly killing everyone present, then amazingly hitting the bulls-eye), Nick got to wear a giant padded suit and be attacked by a German Shepard, then Jimmy Kimmel asked why we still had troops in Germany: hadn't we already beaten them? But the highlight of the evening had to be an inebriated-looking Willie Nelson accompanying Jess in a fringed mini-dress and cowboots as she shimmied her way through a steamin' hot rendition of These Boots Are Made For Walkin'". It was the sexiest number Willie Nelson has ever been involved with in his entire career.

And in other breaking Jessica Simpson news, she poses on the cover of GQ magazine, which posits the theory that behind the blond facade there is a girl with an IQ of 160.

Simpson—who says if she weren't a star she'd be a therapist, like her minister/therapist-turned-Svengali father—does show distinct signs of an actual interior life. In her bags today, she carries In the Company of Soldiers by Rick Atkinson; The Painted Kiss by Elizabeth Hickey; The Book of Positive Quotations; a rhyming dictionary; The Oxford Dictionary of American Usage and Style; a paraphrased New Testament; "and then of course Nicholas Sparks," she says, holding up True Believer. These—along with a forty-gig iPod and Atkins-approved chocolate-mint cookies—are some of the tools Simpson is using to craft the next stage of her career.

It's a theory, anyway.

Posted on July 5, 2005

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