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Massive Star Wars Sick Out Threatens U.S. Economy

The New York Post just had to blab to employers that all those people who'll be calling in sick Thursday with a case of the "Sith Flu" are really at the premiere of the hotly-anticipated new Star Wars film. Never big on the understatement, the Post warns that the anticipated absenteeism could cost the U.S. economy millions of dollars and implies that the film opening could throw us into a deep recession.

Employers are expected to see a dramatic spike in absenteeism as workers play hooky to see Star Wars: Episode III — Revenge of the Sith, when it opens May 19, according to a new report.

That loss of productivity could cost employers as much as $627 million in the first two days that the picture — the last installment of the epic sci-fi series — hits theaters.

Just imagine the scene at offices nationwide Thursday....scores of empty cubicles, office managers scowling and thumbing rolodexes for the number of a good temp agency.

"There is a lot of anticipation to see the final movie," said John Challenger, CEO of outplacement firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas. "With opening day falling on a Thursday, instead of the traditional Friday premiere, we are looking at two days of Star Wars' -- induced absenteeism."

We'd do a longer report on the impending financial doom of the U.S. economy because of the immaturity and irresponsibility of the American worker, but we have to go order our Star Wars tickets online.

Posted on May 16, 2005

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