When Tom Cruise marries Katie Holmes this weekend, like many a devout Scientologist, he may promise to provide her with "a pan, a comb, perhaps a cat." The formal wedding of the Hollywood stars in Italy on Saturday is shaping up as not only the celebrity wedding of the year but as the most famous Scientology wedding since science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard founded the church in Los Angeles more than 50 years ago.

Unlike the mysteries of "silent birth" -- the no-words method used when Holmes delivered daughter Suri in April -- Scientologists say their weddings generally are like Christian affairs with flower girls, a ring, music and a party afterward. "A photo of a Scientology wedding usually has a bride wearing a white dress and the groom wearing a dark suit and the party behind them. It is a joyous affair," said Church of Scientology spokeswoman Karin Pouw. Pouw said what makes a Scientology wedding unique is the advice offered in the ceremony for couples to maintain and improve their relationship.

"They make a vow to each other that they won't go to sleep at night without having repaired any upset they may have had during the day," Pouw said. Twice-divorced Cruise, Scientology's most prominent advocate, and Holmes, 27, announced their engagement in June 2005 after a whirlwind courtship. It is the first marriage for Holmes, who was raised a Catholic. The couple are expected to choose from five versions of the wedding ceremony, ranging from the Traditional to the Double Ring. Each includes traditional vows and lasts between 20 minutes to one hour.

In the old-fashioned language that marks the Traditional version, the groom is reminded that "girls" need "clothes and food and tender happiness and frills, a pan, a comb, perhaps a cat" -- and is asked to provide them all. The bride, in turn, is told that "young men are free and may forget" their promises. In the Double Ring ceremony, the ring is a symbol of permanency and reaffirms the Scientology principles of affinity, reality and communication. While some outsiders may find the concepts of Scientology difficult to grasp, Pouw said Scientology weddings are "quite normal."

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KFC Logo Launch in Area 51

KFC has now built the first fast food chain logo that will be actually visible from space. The logo is 87,500 square feet wide and features a new image of the founder, Colonel Sanders. The Colonel now wears an apron.

With the increase in alien abductions and UFO sightings, it makes good sense to have the logo available from space. That way the aliens know which exit to take in order to be able to grab some friend chicken before they head back out into space.

"The Colonel is truly a global icon and we want everyone in the universe to see KFC's new look of the future," said Gregg Dedrick, president of KFC Corp. "KFC is boldly going where no brand has gone before as Colonel Sanders takes one small step for humankind, but one giant leap for fried chicken."

The giant Colonel Sanders logo was built off The World’s Only Extraterrestrial Highway in Rachel, Nevada, also known as the "UFO Capital of the World," and the epicenter of inter-galactic communication.

"If there are extraterrestrials in outer space, KFC wants to become their restaurant of choice. For now, we'll be very content satisfying the entire human population with our Finger Lickin' Good Chicken. If we hear back from a life form in space today – whether NASA astronauts or a signal from some life form on Mars – we’ll send up some Original Recipe Chicken," said Dedrick.

This is all fine and dandy -- so long as the aliens want to eat chicken. But what if they misinterpret the picture of Colonel Sanders? What if they think that he's actually a menu item and not just the founder of the company? We are quite concerned that KFC may have made a very serious error with this marketing campaign.

Posted on November 15, 2006
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Airport Sculpture Infuriates Visitors

A giant sculpture of a man's member is front and center of a controversy in Taipei.

A giant wooden sculpture of a penis on display at Taipei's international airport has stirred up controversy among some foreign visitors and flight crew, who have demanded its removal, media reported Tuesday.

The one-metre-long sculpture in the Number 2 Terminal is part of an exhibition of artifacts of the Thou tribe, one of Taiwan's ten tribes. But some foreign visitors and crew find it offensive and have demanded its removal, according to the Liberty Times. Some foreign crew members and flight attendants refer to the sculpture as "The Thing" and have posted the photo of it on their websites, saying it is an offence to female visitors and flight attendants.

In response, the Taoyuan International Airport wanted to move the sculpture to a quiet corner of the exhibition, but the Thou tribe refused. The Thou tribe said the sculpture is part of their culture because since ancient times, the Thou tribe has been using the giant wooden penis to tamper the female 'mountain god,' who can unleash rock and and mudslides.

Airport authorities aren't sure what to do about the sculpture and the furious visitors. Meanwhile, "The Thing" remains on view, presumably performing its primary function of "tempering the female mountain god." Shouldn't that be "goddess" if she's a female? We're just asking...

Posted on November 14, 2006
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Britney's Prenup is Airtight

British newspaper The Daily Mail describes in detail Britney Spears' prenup and her fortune, which is valued at approximately $100 million.

A source linked to the prenuptial negotiations said last night: "Everyone thinks Britney is this hick from Louisiana but, in reality, she is an extraordinarily astute businesswoman who has built herself into a global brand. A great deal of her fortune was made prior to her marriage and, when Kevin signed the pre-nup, he waived any right to any part of Britney Incorporated.

Without a prenuptial agreement Britney, who built her fortune off the back of bubblegum hits such as Oops! I Did It Again and Baby One More Time could have been forced to split her empire 50-50. The financial statements gathered for the 2004 pre-nup list total personal cash and assets at the time worth £16.92million. Her biggest year for earnings, according to her income tax returns, was 2001 when she made £10.2million. Current estimates put the value of her fortune now at £65m.

Britney, who has two sons with former back-up dancer Federline - 14-month-old Sean Preston and eight-week-old Jayden James - broke the news of the divorce to her husband via text message. Laura Wasser, 37 - one of Hollywood's most ruthless lawyers - drew up Britney's pre-nup and is also handling her divorce.

Here are some details about her jewellery, that struck us as really odd.

Jewellry £170k

Britney bought her own engagement ring on June 23, 2004. The custom-designed platinum and diamond 5.21 carat ring, by designer Cynthia Wolff, is valued at £131,578 in the pre-nup documents. Tiffany diamond watch: £2,300

Vintage diamond clasp on pearl chain: £3,236

White gold and pink diamond Britney and Justin cross necklace: £7,894

Belly chain with brown diamonds: £500

Belly chain with pink diamonds: £2,000

Pink diamond chain ring: £5,157

Black gold and diamond Britney and Justin cross necklace: £6,842

Platinum necklace with one-carat butterfly shaped diamond and 1.5 carat intense pink diamond: £11,578

Pink and white diamond flower bracelet: £2,315

Why does she still have two diamond "Britney & Justin cross necklaces"? Does she still wear them? What does Cameron Diaz think about that?

(Photo courtesy Splash News.)

Posted on November 13, 2006
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Mannequin Art Installation in Atlanta

The Dawson Company, Lane Company and Evolv have placed 100 mannequins on Piedmont avenue to draw attention to eon at Lindbergh, new condominium residences. If it looks like a scene out of Second Life that's somewhat intentional according a press release about the installation.

Designed to add dimension to the "Bring Lindbergh to Life" advertising campaign, the mannequins will be seen throughout the city to symbolize that the eon at Lindbergh residents will help energize the Lindbergh area of Atlanta.

"The eon at Lindbergh community is unique given the EarthCraft House certified residences offering healthy, comfortable living," said Gigi Giannoni, president of Evolv, a full service real estate solutions group serving as the developer's marketing and sales group. "The marketing campaign had to be as compelling as the product and the location, so staging mannequins in the community was a memorable way to invite future residents to live at eon and to bring Lindbergh to life."

"With avatars representing real people in virtual worlds such as Second Life, we thought it would be a nice juxtaposition to use mannequins as a metaphor for people living in the eon at Lindbergh community," said Mark Unger, partner and creative director of new media for PUSH, the marketing agency chosen to handle the campaign. "As people populate the new community, the number of mannequins decreases, replacing a static installation with dynamic activity."

"The use of readymade objects rather than more traditional craft-based sculpture to communicate a message is a form of art that has been underutilized in advertising since the 1970s," said Unger. "We wanted a different way to engage people beyond using conventional advertising for this campaign."

You can see more photos and video of the installation here on PUSH's website.

Posted on November 11, 2006
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FedEx Fights Britney For Custody

It looks like the Britney Spears/Kevin Federline divorce is about to get nasty. FedEx has filed court papers asking for custody of their two children, Sean Preston and Jayden James.

Kevin Federline has filed for sole custody of his two children with soon-to-be ex-wife Britney Spears. Spears filed for divorce on Tuesday and petitioned for custody of the kids, but K-Fed filed response papers in Los Angeles Superior Court on Wednesday, asking for legal and physical custody of Sean Preston, 1, and Jayden James (almost 2 months).

He also asks for spousal support. "Kevin is prepared to go the distance in order to do what he feels is necessary to protect and safeguard the children and will not be intimidated or dissuaded from pursuit of those goals," Federline's lawyer said in a statement.

Reportedly, the prenup is airtight and only gives FedEx $30k a month for half the time they were married. He also has to give back all gifts she gave him that cost over $10,000. There is no way he really wants custody of two small children. He's just trying to get a bigger settlement. What a creep.

Posted on November 9, 2006
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Britney Files For Divorce

Britney Spears made a surprise appearance on the David Letterman Show last night, showing off her newly svelte figure, a black mini-dress and a cute new blond bob. You can see the video here.

And in no doubt related news, Britney has finally filed for divorce from Kevin Federline. TMZ reports:

TMZ obtained the legal papers, filed today in Los Angeles County Superior Court, citing "irreconcilable differences." In her petition, Spears asks for both legal and physical custody of the couple's two children, one-year old Sean Preston and two-month old Jayden James, with Federline getting reasonable visitation rights.

As for money, sources tell TMZ the couple, who married in Oct. 2004, has an iron-clad prenup. Not surprisingly, Spears is waiving her right to spousal support. She's also asking the judge to make each party pay their own attorney's fees.

Spears gives the date of separation as yesterday, the same day she flaunted her incredible revamped physique during a surprise appearance on David Letterman's show. Sources tell TMZ there was no single reason for Britney pulling the plug, rather, it was "a string of events."

Spears has hired powerhouse celebrity divorce lawyer Laura Wasser, who has repped a number of celebs, including Angelina Jolie, Nick Lachey and Kiefer Sutherland. We're told Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe asked Wasser to rep both of them in their split, but Wasser declined for personal reasons.

Finally, Brit has come to her senses. We think she's on the Comeback Trail -- Go Britney!!!

Posted on November 7, 2006
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Film Set Nightmare:Hilary Swank Injured by Stripper's Suspenders

Hilary Swank needed stitches after a freak accident on the set of her new movie.

Hilary Swank was injured Thursday on the set of her new film, P.S. I Love You in New York.

During a scene with costar Gerard Butler, in which the actor performs a striptease for Swank, Butler's suspenders became snagged and hit the actress on her forehead, a source tells PEOPLE. Swank received medical treatment, which included sutures for the cut, and filming was halted.

Per the source, Swank is recovering and in good spirits, and production will resume on Monday.

Let's get this straight: a male stripper's suspenders hit Hilary in the face during his performance?? What in the world is this movie about, anyway? And is "assault by stripper's suspenders" covered under the film's insurance contract? We certainly hope so, because it's a more common injury than you might think. We wonder if this ever happened to Pastor Ted Haggard during one of his "massages"?

Posted on November 6, 2006
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Borat and Mahir Cagri's I Kiss You

An article in Wired points out how the popular new Borat character played by Sacha Baron Cohen are similar to Turkey native Mahir Cagri, whose silly "I Kiss You" website briefly made him an Internet celebrity. Wired recently caught up with Mahir who belives the Borat character is based on him.

Turns out, we're not the only ones who noticed the similarities: "All people know Sacha Baron Cohen imitate only me," Cagri recently fumed via email. "He is stealing my character and giving bad message to USA people." Cagri, who's been struggling to start a career in show business ever since his boom-era glory days, says he intends to sue Baron Cohen. "He never contacted me or got my permission," he writes. "If possible you can help me too for stop this or find good lawyer?" Sorry, we can't do that, but we can give Cagri the third degree - and let Wired readers be the judge.

WIRED: In the mock-doc, Borat is a globe-trotting journalist. Are you also a man of letters?
CAGRI: I do journalism as a freelancer sometimes. I go travel sometimes and take pictures-video-write, meet people for documentary.

Borat travels the US, examining American culture. Any memories from your visit in 1999?
I can't forget party about me in San Francisco. Many people kissed me, took my signature, and took picture. America mix culture and big country, but people don't think about other people. They love their own life only and fun-sex-game-drink.

Mahir's website is currently offline but you can read more about him in this Wikipedia entry. The entry says etour.com even paid Mahir $1 million for a U.S. tour in 2000. It also says the Borat film uses Mahir's "I like sex" catch phrase.

Mahir may have been among the inspirations for British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen to create the character Borat Sagdiyev, a fake reporter for Kazakh television, as seen on Da Ali G Show. Chief similarities between Mahir and Borat include facial hair and taste in formal wear. Borat also shouted out Mahir's catchphrase "I like sex" to the crowd at the MTV Europe Music Awards in Lisbon and at a Savannah Sand Gnats baseball game. In the upcoming feature film of the same name, Borat not only quotes "I like sex" and "You can stay my home" in the introductory scenes, but poses during a game of ping-pong in revealing red shorts, referencing two of Mahir's famous shots. However, the character "Borat" has been in development since 1995, four years before Mahir's page was online. Baron Cohen has said himself that it was based on a Russian doctor.

The messy homepage for the Borat movie also has the feel of Mahir's famous homepage. The Wikipedia listing for Mahir says Mahir plans to sue Sacha Baron Cohen but he would accept apologies and Sacha's friendship instead of a lawsuit.

Posted on November 4, 2006
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Madonna Talks Adoption to Meredith Vieira

Madonna appeared on NBC's Dateline to chat with Meredith Vieira about her adoption of baby David, her new book and that crucifixion scene that NBC cut out of her new special. On the plight of Africa:

Madonna: When I went to Africa, I was reduced to floods of tears every day.

Vieira: Did you even imagine what you would see?

Madonna: I knew about the horror. The, you know, what was going on there. But you don't know until you get there. You don't really know until you see, you know, a child laying listlessly on the pavement, you know, in a pool of urine with flies buzzing around their head.

Or children wandering around like in a comatose state with like really distended bellies. And you know, women sitting on the fronts of porches of their little huts, you know, with Kaposi's lesions all over their bodies.

On her offer to David's father to give him money so he could raise his own son, instead of her adopting him:

Vieira: In this whole process, did it ever cross your mind, did you ever think, "Well, you know, I have the resources to help David's dad. He's a poor farmer." He's David's dad. Reunite David with his dad?

Madonna: You're absolutely right. And I offered that in court when I met him. And he didn't want that. When I met him, I said "I would be happy to facilitate with you to bring him back to your village and help you financially raise him." And he said no. I couldn't really understand that decision.

On the possibility that the criticism of her is racially motivated:

Madonna: I think a lot of people have a problem with the fact that I've adopted an African child, a child who has a different color skin than I do.

Vieira: You think that's what got people riled up?

Madonna: I think there's an aspect of that, yeah. I think it's still considered taboo. You know, I have people say to me on the streets when I'm walking down the street, "Why did you adopt a black child?"

Vieira: They come out and say this to you?

Madonna: Oh yeah, definitely. Yeah.

Vieira: And what do you say?

Madonna: I don't say anything. I don't dignify their question with a reply.

It was an interesting interview. We say: thumbs up, Madonna!

Posted on November 2, 2006
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